A love like Platinum...

Love.. It's a wonderful word. But its interpretation is always different, depending on the context. For instance, an idiotically romantic teenage girl would picture first love to be something straight out of a Yash Raj film- a flamboyant 'Raj'; chasing her in lush, yellow fields, and serenading her with sweet melodies. For someone else, love is an all consuming need- The neglected housewife, who had once married a man crazily in love with her, now has to hang on to the last shreds of love to save her marriage, hoping.. Hoping that maybe one day, he will fall in love with her, again. Like the old times.

 And me? You may ask what it means to me, but i doubt you'd be satisfied with what i have to offer. I have been single all these years, and I've never been happier! At least i dont get into petty fights with my partner over why he winked at some random girl in my presence, or why he forgot to text me 'I love you' before going to bed. Trust me! I've been around girls who prefer treating their boyfriends like watchdogs rather than human beings, and i feel compelled to say that if love is all about behaving like an attention hog,  I'm not really up to it!

But, like any other girl, however inexperienced i may be in this field, i do wish to be married and 'feel' love. When i discover that i'm in love, I would not want to scream out from the rooftops that the impossible happened, but would rather cherish it in my heart, like a well kept secret only understood by that special person - This is how i imagine my Platinum day of love to be-

We were married 6 months back. Arranged marriages bring with them a sense of reserve in both individuals and the openness to explore a life of togetherness, may not come as readily as it would to a couple already in love. Rihaan and I were complete strangers to each other- even when we sat together through the wedding rituals, neither of us had any conception of how this marriage is going to change our lives.

I still remember, how acutely uncomfortable i was on the wedding night. I did not want a stranger to touch me- so what if we were man and wife in front of the rest of the world!? He was still a stranger to me. As it turned out, I needn't have bothered at all. Before even making an attempt to lift the ghunghat off my head, he said very abruptly, "I have to be honest with you- I'm already in love with someone else. And will be, for the rest of my life." Apparently, he was forced into this marriage by his parents as they would not let him marry a girl of his choice. Whatever the reason, I had been pulled into an awkward situation, wherein I was doomed to be the wife of a man whose affections i could never win. Not wanting to embitter things between us, I decided to be brave and put forward the most diplomatic truce i could think of at the time- " Let's be friends."

From that point onward, we were inseparable friends! We laughed together, cried together, chatted together, fought together and spent six beautiful months under the same roof in our sweet little world. We had become indispensable to each other- He would complain about his co workers and bosses to me, and i would listen to him indulgently and offer suitable advise. We had gotten so close to each other, that no one, not a soul could've guessed how complicated things actually were. We even had our parents fooled about our 'platonic' relationship. But there are some facets about life you cannot choose to ignore, however persistent you may be. As time flew, I realized grudgingly that a feeling of discontent had begun to rise in me. A feeling i had tried to ignore had finally come to the surface and had begun to eat into my conscience. I was falling in love with my husband. And a marriage of pretense was not was not working out well for me. Rihaan was quick to notice the change; "Whats wrong? You're not being yourself." He had an angry frown on his face when i chose not to answer. Maybe i needed some time to figure out things before i spoke to him at length about the future- about him and me. My heart twisted when i thought of the girl he was in love with. Long time back he had shown me a photo of his love- she was quite beautiful. I wondered if they were in touch. The suspense was too much for me and i made up my mind to have a word with him. The only trouble was- how?

I was giggling. I shuffled my feet uncomfortably and looked at him shyly. Rihaan was leaning against the wall, his arms folded, and a sympathetic look on his face- he thought I had gone bonkers! I had made him stand there for an interminable period, hoping that i would be able to say those three words, which would sum everything up and end this nonsense! But all i could do was giggle nervously. Then when i sensed that he was losing patience, i tried to pull myself together and muttered under my breath- 'I love you'. I did not look at him immediately out of shyness, but when i did look at him, the goofy smile that was playing around my mouth vanished. Rihaan's expression was stone, and he couldn't quite meet my eyes. He said to me in a heavy voice, "I'm sorry," and walked past me, leaving me in a state of shock and anguish. I had had enough. I packed my bags, and decided to leave for my mother's place immediately. I was not prepared to be in love with a man who didn't need a wife. Not bothering to inform him, in the middle of the night, i walked out of the house ,bag and baggage intact, and caught a cab.

It had been ten days at my mothers', and i had not received any news of him. He didn't call and i didn't bother to get in touch. It hurt me immensely to behave like i didn't care, but staying with him would've been far more hurtful. My parents had realized that something was amiss when few days later, my mother rushed into my room with the most upsetting news- "You must go back to Rihaan; he's terribly ill!" I sprang out of the bed in preparation to leave and asked my mom if she had any other news of him. She shook her head worriedly-" Why aren't you in touch with him? He is your husband!" I chose to ignore that question and hurriedly packed whatever medicines that i thought he might need. I set off without further ado and reached our home in no time. The door had been left open and I was shocked to see the state of the apartment. Things were strewn around- the dirty clothes, utensils, stains and scratches made me wince and shudder at the neglected state of affairs. I walked into the bedroom, and there he was, my husband; burning with a fever of 102. He turned around to see who it was, and there was a grin on his wan face to see me back. His eyes glowed- " I knew you'd come," he said simply. I kept quiet, and started attending to him. I managed to brew something for him, so that he could take his dose of antibiotic, and put him to sleep after his fever came down by a few notches. I couldn't sleep a wink, for fear the fever would return. He was up early the next morning, his hair ruffled and eyes still heavy from sleep. I helped him up against the cushions, and not wanting to engage in a conversation, tried moving away from him, when he clasped my hand and pulled me towards him in a hug."Don't leave me again. I want you here... With me. Always." This, i hadn't expected, and was immobile in his arms. It was only when I disengaged myself from him and looked at his face, that i realized that finally- he too had found his day of love. He didn't quite confess to me his love, but said with an air of self pity, that he hadn't had a proper meal ever since I had left  him high and dry. Looking at the state of the house and its master, I was not at all amazed to hear this. I smiled at him and demanded that he hug me again. He complied readily, and I melted in his arms, knowing for the first time the warmth of his love.

One would be amazed at how my imagination can stretch- yes! I actually made that up! 'Our Platinum day of Love'. But honestly, whatever the situation, whatever the story; love is precious! Much akin to the stainless glory of Platinum, marriage too is a glorious beginning to the many chapters of yours life. We begin to wrap ourselves around emotions that were strange and unwelcome to us at one time- we begin to understand love, an emotion which is forged in a bond of a lifetime. Untainted, unblemished, and untarnished by the tides of time- A love like Platinum.      

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